Feeling all beat by 6 PM.
[The Tamo-san Hour Smile! Is that Good?]
Everything's still all good.
Getting all bitchy by 6 PM.
Tomorrow will be all good.
Who actually watches this segment?
No way anyone could possibly want this!
The staff came up with it on a whim!
Yosan wo agete.
Give me money!
We're the only ones using 4:3 in this day and age.
After all these years, the costs haven't changed!
Completely grown accustomed to getting down on my knees.
Sorry about that. I'll watch myself next week!
Laugh away! Bitchin' sparking! Yay!
Project X.
[Note: Project X is a Japanese TV documentary series.]
Tomoro Taguchi!
[Note: Tomoro Taguchi is the Japanese voice actor who narrates in Project X.]
It's hard to be a man.
[Note: From Japanese Film series "Otoko wa Tsuraiyo".]
Gajiro Sato.
[Note: Gajiro Sato played "Genkichi" in "It's hard being a man" series.]
It's all good. It's all good.
Sato!
[Note: Word play on Tomoro Taguchi and Gajiro Sato.]
Tomoro!
We'll move on to the next segment.
["Shocked by the Phone"]
Good evening.
It was pretty warm out today.
We're going to hit the rainy season soon.
Will you still be watching tomorrow?
We have a ten kilometer course from the riverbed to OEDO TV.
If anybody on the team gives up, that team is immediately disqualified!
Takachin!
It's bouncing back and forth E-R, E-R.
["If One Orange in the Box is Rotten, the Rest of Them Will Become Rotten Before You Realize It"]
Huh?
What are you doing, master?
Are you also participating in this tournament?
Well, what a coincidence.
Ya-Yamazaki!
Woo-hoo!! Outta the way!
Scram!
The Queen's passing through!
Piece of cake!
The prize money's mine!
This is where your merry stroll ends, young lady.
I won't let anyone run ahead of me!
You're...
The chief asked me to participate.
Put me in quite the fix.
He was going on about freeing the Vice-Chief or something,
but how am I supposed to understand what's going on when you put me
in this embarrassing uniform and tell me to run.
Well, it's not that I don't like Otsu-chan or anything,
but I'm not a big enough fan to want to participate in an event like this.
Hey.
Besides, I have no idea how becoming Otsu-chan's official fan club
is going to save the Vice-Chief, yeah?
On top of that..
Th-This is bad.
He's also one of them!
Okita, Yamazaki, and the gorilla!
That's his team...
Th-This is bad, Gin-san!
If the committee finds out about Takachin, we're finished!
We have to cover this up!
That sounds rough.
Well, we happen to be in a hurry so...
Good luck, Yamazaki-san!
Ah, hold on, master!
It's too late to start running now.
We're dead last, you know.
Y-Yeah...
You probably let someone else run up ahead so you could relax yourself, right?
You don't need to put on airs.
We have no choice!
We don't have to worry about what place we're in since Kagura-chan's running up ahead,
but that'll all be for nothing if they find out about Takachin's injury!
We must make it to the finish line without anybody noticing!
Uh, at the moment, a young girl and a large man are in the lead.
Members from the Tsu Terakado Fan Club and the Tsusengumi.
Neither is giving up an inch! This is amazing!
We've got an intense head-to-head race here!
Regardless of which one pulls ahead,
both teams appear assured to make it out of the prelims...
Er?
Wait, that's wrong!
That's the wrong way!
What is this?!
The two lead runners are so intent on their contest that they've gone the wrong way!
Ah, that's wrong!
That's the wrong way!
They're racing off course at a tremendous speed!
Their rankings are starting to drop!
From heaven to hell!
This is bad!
The other members of their teams have to do something,
or neither team will make it out of the prelims!
What the hell is she doing?!
What do you mean, the other members have to do something?!
Isn't it a bit late to do anything?!
Are we supposed to catch up while carrying Takachin!
This is the pits!
It was stupid of me to send her up ahead!
Master, master.
Behind you. Behind you.
You've picked up all kinds of junk.
Uh, is that guy okay?
He hasn't moved at all.
Huh?!
Did something happen?
N-Nothing at all!
He's absolutely fine!
He's just tired after running too fast at the beginning!
Yeah, but...
He's got a stray dog biting down really hard on him.
Those are the eyes of a dog hungering for dead flesh.
Is that okay?
Absolutely okay!
He's got a few dogs at his old home!
Maybe dogs just love him?!
Yeah, but...
There's a weird old guy with a scythe bearing down on you.
Is that okay?
Absolutely okay!
Maybe it's his dad from back home?!
He must have come to cheer him on!
Yeah, but...
There's also an old lady with wings on her back bearing down on you.
Is that okay?
It's his mom!
Both of them came!
What a wonderful family!
Master! He's completely exposed now!
Are you sure he's okay?! Hey!
Absolutely okay!
He may be completely exposed, but we've got a hat covering it so we're okay!
[Note: Gin is hinting that Takachin has phimosis, a physical condition that affects men. Look it up.]
A little sun visor's covering it!
Gin-san!
This is impossible!
This is impossible to cover up!
Takachin's body won't be able to bear all of this!
And worst of all, he'll be charged with public indecency before we make it out of the prelims!
Damn it...
I have no choice!
Sacrifices must be made at times!
Shinpachi!
I'm counting on you to catch-up!
Gin-san!
Where are you going?!
I'll take Taka-chin to the hospital for now!
Gin-san, it's no use!
If you take him to a doctor in that condition, he'll be hospitalized in no time!
We won't be able to avoid his disqualification!
I vow to bring him back once he's been looked at!
I promise!
So I'm counting on you in the meantime, Shinpachi!
Gin-san!
That's a clinic for urologic plastic surgery!
What are you having him looked at for?!
It's over, Shinpachi-kun.
He won't be able to make it back in that state.
Well, we'll work hard enough for your share.
Just give up quietly and join the spectators.
I won't give up!
Gin-san promised, so they'll definitely return!
All I can do is believe in them and move on!
Aw, he's all fired up now.
What a waste of effort.
The Tsusengumi's victory is all but...
He's pretty quick.
We might have a chance at this rate.
That was fast!
What? You got a problem with me coming back so fast?
No, wasn't that a little too fast?
Where's that injured guy?
Did you just dump him off somewhere?
No, he said he'd race over as soon as he was done being treated.
You're such a kidder.
What's the point in buying a little time?
He won't be coming back.
Ah, there he is.
Huh?
Hey!
Over here!
Man, it's a good thing it wasn't anything serious.
Besides, you're too weak.
You need to work out more.
Yeah, Taka-tin?
Who is that?!
Who is this person?!
Isn't this a completely different person?!
Who is this brazen foreigner?!
Huh? What do you say?
It's Taka-tin.
It's obviously Taka-tin and nobody else.
That's true.
No, it's obviously a completely different person!
Look at this guy from any angle and any position and this guy's got nothing on him!
Yep, nothing on him.
Since Taka-tin was just released from surgery.
What kind of surgery?!
I'm talking about his character!
It's not like you ordered the wrong guy here!
And what do you mean, Taka-tin?!
Why are you speaking in English?!
Hey, now.
Don't try to pick a fight here.
He's the real deal. 100% genuine.
Authentic stuff, yeah.
Lose the crappy English accent! It's pissing me off!
Now, now. Think back.
Taka-tin had that French bread-looking pompadour.
He's just carrying a loaf of French bread in his hand!
You could at least put the bread on his head!
Why is he just standing there?!
Why is he standing there with French bread?!
Well, the treatment being what it was...
A man becomes an adult when he's had the hat down there removed.
He's dropped the sun visor to stand out where everyone can see.
So he's probably trying to act a little more mature.
[Note: Gintoki is taking about a circumcision and the surgical operation used to fix phimosis.]
Like I said! What kind of treatment was it?!
How could he possibly have turned into a huge adult who can't fit into a T-shirt?!
Well, he finally dropped the turtleneck he's had since he was born.
[Note: Turtleneck sweaters are often used in ads as a symbol of phimosis.]
Time is money.
Oh, we don't have time for this.
We need to be on our way.
He just spoke in English.
He's not even trying to pretend to be him!
And he's eating the French bread!
One hour, ten thousand yen.
Two hours, twenty thousand yen.
During that time, I'm Taka-tin.
Okay?
Okay. Okay.
Three hours, three loaves of French bread.
Four hours, four loaves of French bread.
Okay?
Why does his compensation become French bread after three hours?!
It obviously isn't okay!
He's only getting twenty thousand out of this!
Okay! French bread!
You're okay with it?!
Bread over money?!
This is obviously fraud.
He's nothing more than a substitute.
Sorry, but I have to report this to the committee.
Everybody's serious about this!
I can't let this slide!
Ow!
The French bread is hard!
The French bread hurts!
Everybody's serious about this?
Hey, don't give me that bullshit. Hey, now.
Want me to tell you how Takachin got injured in the first place? Huh?
The prelims are yielding a whirlwind of events.
Half of the participants are out after being caught up in the rampage of the front two.
And the front two are missing after going the wrong way.
At the moment, the last stragglers from the remaining half
have passed the five kilometer mark where they disappeared.
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club and the Tsusengumi
have clawed their way from the depths of hell in search of victory!
Quite frankly, they have no chance of bouncing back.
Very unfortunate.
Two of the top teams falling in the prelims...
Ah...
That's...
The person racing over the countless fallen bodies of otakus at a tremendous speed...
C-Could it be?!
That's... That's...
Here it is!
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club has clawed their way from the depths of hell in search of victory!
However, a large gap has opened between the leaders and the stragglers.
It will be very difficult to overcome their lead!
I can't lose here!
I can't let myself lose!
Whoa! He's speeding up!
He's already caught up to the frontrunners and is attempting to pass them!
Formation Genbu.
Oh?
What... What is this?
The frontrunners have abruptly created a formation to block the Tsu Terakado Fan Club's path!
A wall! It's like a wall!
A large wall of otaku prevents him from advancing!
What is going on here?
How could all these scattered teams move with such coordination?!
It couldn't be...
What a naive bunch of people...
Between the committee running this contest and your little fan club...
Five thousand participants in this tournament.
In other words, over a thousand teams fighting for the title of Official Fan Club...
You still haven't noticed that this contest isn't all fun and games?
A thousand teams versus one.
Five thousand versus four.
The only people in this competition are yours and mine.
All of the otaku standing here after entering the tournament are my pawns, excluding your group.
Th-That's impossible...
All of them belong to the Tsusengumi?!
They're all our enemies?!
No way...
It can't be!
How could you have become such a large force...?
The battle was over before it even began.
Yes.
This isn't a contest for becoming the Official Fan Club.
It's merely a ritual.
A little celebration to cleanse Toshi.
And you people are the sacrifices.
Nobody likes sacrifices that don't know when to give up.
You shouldn't be roaring for a fight. You should be accepting your fate.
What's this?!
A member of the Tsusengumi was among the frontrunners!
We were unable to hear the conversation,
but it's believed that he's leading multiple teams in working together to block the Tsu Terakado Fan Club!
The waves of otaku are parting like the Ten Commandments!
The Tsusengumi has instantly jumped to the top!
On the other hand, the Tsu Terakado Fan Club...
Oh! The Tsu Terakado Fan Club has charged into the wall!
However, the wall of otaku is preventing him from making a move!
Damn it! Damn it!
I won't give up!
I refuse to give up!
I made a promise with Gin-san!
I'm sure that Gin-san will keep this team alive!
I must keep our hopes alive!
I must find a path...
I don't care how thin it may be.
I will find the ray of light that leads to victory!
We now move to the bridge at the seven kilometer mark of the course.
Only three kilometers to the finish line.
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club remains stuck in dead last!
It will be difficult to change the situation!
Is this the end for their fan club?!
Found it...
The rail of the bridge!
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club
has found a path to victory where none existed, on the thin rail of the bridge!
The other teams are unable to cope with this unexpected development!
Like Yoshitsune, He's gracefully tearing across the bridge!
[Note: Reference to Yoshitsune Minamoto from Heian era. Legend says he dueled legendary warrior monk Benkei on Gojo Bridge.]
The otaku are gathering onto the bridge to block the fan club's path!
Will he make it past this wall of bodies?!
Can he surpass his own limits?!
A little more... Just a little more!
This is our last chance!
I'm definitely going to take it!
Victory! Victory for all of us!
Well done, Patsuan.
That's enough.
We'll handle the rest.
Gin-san!
Takachi...
So we're counting on you,
Taka-tin.
French bread!
Huh?
Who is that?
The Tsu Terakado Fan Club has used one of their own as bait to destroy the other teams!
[To Be Continued]
A Little Ginpachi Sensei!
Okay, we have some extra time, so I'll read a few letters.
Uh, a question from pen name Odd Jobs Rule, Shinsengumi...
is okay?
Nice to meet you.
I just noticed something.
Shinpachi is a fan of Otsu.
And Kagura likes enka.
[Note: Enka is Japanese traditional popular music.]
So what kind of music does Gin-san like?
I can't think of anything off the top of my head, so please let me know.
Okay, I'll give you your answer.
Gin-san doesn't listen to music.
He hums a few commercial jingles every now and then.
So you remember back when I sang A Thousand Winds?
[Note: Episode #133]
After that episode aired, the voice actor's mother called to say,
"Tomokazu, do a better job of singing."
[Note: The voice actor is Tomokazu Sugita.]
Sorry, that's how this character is supposed to be.
And on a different note,
Okita probably listens to comic storytellings.
[Note: Japanese comic storytelling (Rakugo) is Japanese verbal entertainment.]
You can imagine him listening to the stuff, right?
Uh, here's another one.
A question from pen name Kaishu Katsu should be in GinTama.
Hello.
Excuse me, I have a question to ask.
While watching the ending credits,
it says that Yuu Saito assisted in the production.
He's the current editor for the manga, right?
When Onishi was the editor, it said that Kohei Onishi assisted in the production.
How exactly do they assist in the production of the GinTama anime?
Please let me know.
Okay, I'll give you your answer.
They don't do anything at all.
Every week, they hold so-called meetings with the anime staff where they drink using their company money.
So Nakasaki, the new editor.
Enjoy the company's money next week.
Who are you?!
Who the hell are you?!
The next episode...
"From a foreigner's perspective, you're the foreigner."
"From an alien's perspective, you're the alien."
Yeah!
So who the hell are you?!
Taka-tin.
[Finally, the main round for the battle to become the Tsu Terakado Official Fan Club begins!!]
[The Fan Club versus the Tsusengumi. They begin with a quiz!]
[See you next time.]